Monday, June 2, 2014

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Pre-Op appointments!

I have 6 appointments today in preparation for my surgery on Monday.  In my weigh-in this morning, I am 244.  I know it isn't a truly valid weight, since I know I have a lot of water weight due to my period.  It's still not a bad number, considering all my cheats lately.  It's the goal I was supposed to be at before my surgery.

My first appointment was scheduled with the doctor doing my surgery.  But before I met with him, I had to watch the pre-op video again, then met with his medical assistant.  Then I met with the Fellow who will be assisting with my surgery.  FINALLY, an hour late, I met with my surgeon.  He helped allay my fears with the surgery and risks involved. 

Next I met with a normal medical doctor.  The surgery requires that a medical doctor gives the patient a physical within 30 days of the surgery.  That was her role.  She took my basics, listened to my lungs, etc.  It was a quick visit.

I had an online survey I had to take, which pretty much re-asked all the same questions as the medical doctor.

Then I had to walk about a mile to another building to do a pre-interview with the anesthesiology department.  I spoke to the anesthesiology nurse in length about my issues related to anesthesia - vomiting and hives.  They are being very proactive about it and will be giving me anti-nausea meds even before my surgery, then during and after.  With having surgery on my stomach, it's important to not vomit after!

The last stop in the day was to get bloodwork.  I'm not sure what levels they were checking, but they took about 3 tubes of blood.  Then a second person had to come in and take a separate tube of blood just to confirm my blood type.  Overall it was a busy day!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

falling off the wagon

Friday was HARD.  I do very well at work since I get into a routine and am not exposed to a lot of temptations.  Friday was my Mom's birthday, and I got off work early to spend time with her and the kids.  As soon as I walked in, I knew I was in trouble.  The kids were eating pizza.  Granted, it was frozen pizza, but I would have eaten pizza after it had fallen on the ground at that point.  But I stayed strong and drank my water.  Then came cupcake making.  At that point I was at the end of my rope and retreated to the basement to get away from the temptations.  But they followed me down there!  My Mom let the kids take their freshly baked cupcakes to the basement to watch a movie with me.  I eventually kicked them out and broke down and ate a small jar of sandwich sliced pickles.  It had 5 servings in the jar, and each serving had no calories or fat.  Too bad it didn't list what a whole jar was!  I'm sure I had *some* calories that day.  I didn't go over my daily allowance of calories, but I still felt like a huge failure because it was solid food and I wasn't allowed to eat any solids.

Saturday was a banner day for awesomeness.  I had my breakfast shake, then had a date that kept me away from the house for my lunch shake.  So instead of  having both my lunch & dinner shake at 5pm, I just added 2 extra scoops of protein powder to my dinner shake (in order to get enough protein), and had that.

Sunday was a good day, but I can see it as the start of me cheating a little and making excuses for it.  I did no snacking all day, even though I had Peach with me all day and had to cook for her.  But that evening a neighbor kid came over and all the kids were eating small pretzel sticks.  I had 2.  I was so ashamed because my kids would be disappointed if they caught me.

Monday was my worst day ever.  I think I am having a lot of anxiety about the upcoming surgery.  I had my 3 normal shakes and cup of chicken broth like usual.  But on my way home, I remembered a long-abandoned small bag of baked cheddar & sour cream chips and had it while driving to get the kids for karate.  Then I hid the evidence so they wouldn't be disappointed.  I feel bad for the sneaky snacking since it will lead me down a very self-destructive path.  TODAY (Tuesday) WILL be a no-cheat day.  It as to be.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Liquid diet day 4 - TMI

Yesterday's rearrangement did the trick!  I made it through the day with only 1 cup of chicken broth mid-morning and one Jolly Rancher in the afternoon.  I didn't even remember to eat any jello!  I hope the rest of the time goes by this nicely. 
I have the bad habit of weighing myself daily.  This morning I'm down to 244.5.  The goal from the nutritionist was to be down to 244 before my surgery.  At this rate, I'll be down to 234!

There is an unfortunate side effect to a full liquid diet that I only mention in the spirit of full disclosure.  As of last night, I have...leakage.  From my butt.  My poop is soft and even though I wipe fully when I'm done, "stuff" leaks out as I go about my day.  It's quite unpleasant and disconcerting.  Yet another reason I am looking forward to going back to "normal" food!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

liquid diet day 3 - 10/16

If you remember, I weighed 252.5 on Monday morning.  As of this morning, 2 full days into my liquid diet, I am down to 246.5.  No wonder I am so cranky and tired!  My body is completely out of energy!

I decided to make one small tweak to my "meals" today to hopefully keep the beast away that shows up at 3pm every day.  For breakfast and dinner I am doing my normal shakes (1 cup soymilk, 2 scoops protein powder, and sprinkle of sugar-free pudding).  Lunch will be my "big" meal of the soymilk being increased to 1 1/2 cups.  I hope that does the trick for my mood as well as my energy!

In non-diet news, I have mixed feelings about my date on Saturday with the guy I met on Match.  He seems like a wonderful guy, just what I deserve.  But on the other hand, his kids are MUCH older than mine, so we don't have that in common.  Plus, he definitely doesn't want more kids.  Before I heard that definite NO from him yesterday, I was ambiguous about having more kids.  I am very happy with the 3 I have, but wouldn't need to be talked into having more.  But I hate being limited and hearing his no makes me REALLY want to have more.  I think I knew this in the back of my mind all along, since I can't bear to get rid of the baby clothes from my kids "just in case"...

liquid diet day 2 - 10/15

Today was better than yesterday.  I made a few small tweaks and I think they really helped. 

I took out the strawberries from my morning shake in order to give me more calories to have during the day.  So my breakfast and lunch shakes were 1 cup soymilk and 2 scoops soy protein powder.  My evening shake was 1 1/2 cups soymilk and 2 scoops protein.  I also sprinkled a little sugar-free vanilla pudding into the shake to make it thicker, and (hopefully) more filling.  It seemed to do the trick, since I only had to have 1 cup chicken broth and 1 cup of tea to keep me full between shakes.  Unfortunately, my mood still took a nosedive around 3pm and I ended up being very cranky till bedtime.  I don't like the person who comes out after 3pm, but I have to keep telling myself it's only temporary.

I am missing FLAVOR very badly and I cheated and had 2 jolly ranchers today.  It was worth it!  I wish I could get jolly ranchers in other flavors too.  Perhaps cheddar & sour cream potato chips?  I wish...

2 days down, 12 more to go! 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

liquid diet day 1 - 10/14

Today was rough.  The nutritionist I was working with had me eating 3 meals plus 2 snacks a day.  My stomach was used to never being very empty.  I had my morning shake in the morning like usual, around 6:30 (1 cup soymilk, 2 scoops Total Soy protein powder, and 1/2 cup of strawberries).  When I got to work, I had my daily cup of half caff coffee with a little amaretto creamer.  By 10am I was HUNGRY.  I had a cup of chicken broth made from bullion, and that lasted me until 11.  So I had a cup of tea.  It was a struggle to wait till noon to have lunch.  The lunch shake consisted of 1 cup soymilk and 2 scoops protein powder.  It didn't do the trick, so I had some of the sugar free jello I had brought along.  The afternoon lasted FOREVER.  I had another cup of chicken broth and tons of water to keep the hunger pains away.  By the time I left work, I was in a mood.  That mood got worse when my kids weren't listening while getting ready for karate.  I listened to my stomach growl during the entire lesson and counted down the minutes til it was time for my dinner shake.  When we left karate, I warned the boys this cranky mommy was their new mommy since I was so hungry.  Luigi burst into tears.  To lighten the mood I told Luigi I was so hungry I was going to eat his fingers because they looked like delicious little sausages.  Mario was laughing hysterically, but it made Luigi cry even harder.  Poor guy was tired and too sensitive to deal with a cranky mom.  The evening got better after mama had her shake (another cup of soymilk and 2 scoops protein powder).

Hopefully the first day was the hardest and it gets easier from here.