I have always been a chubby kid. As far back as 6, I remember being bigger than normal. I have a picture of me in ballet class and I already had the beginning of a stomach pooch. The kind women get after having a baby. But I got mine at age 6. I have several friends who have had weight loss surgery, and I have wanted and planned to have it done when I was done having kids. Now that I am (almost) divorced and have no interest in having sex anytime soon, it is the perfect time to get the ball rolling.
I am lucky enough to live very close to a world-class, top rated hospital. I watched the online weight loss seminar and took the required follow-up quiz (and scored 100%). A few days later I completed my medical history questionnaire online. After a very long 10 day wait, I received a letter in the mail outlining the next steps that will happen. In 10 days I will get another letter outlining all my appointments necessary before getting this life-changing surgery. I am excited but nervous. I know this is a wonderful new beginning. It will help me be a better, more involved mom. I will have more energy, be able to be more active, and have much better health. I do feel like a bit of a failure for not being able to do it on my own, but I do need to learn to ask for help when I need it. And this time I need it! I am DONE beating myself up for a number on the scale. I am done with the emotional eating. I WILL be more healthy, inside and out. Since I am still fairly anonymous online, I plan to be brutally honest about the process, both physically and mentally.
As of today, I weigh 260.5. Not that I am counting or focusing on my weight. But I do want to record it for posterity.